alive

I have a pulse. I am awake. I am alive. Strictly medically, all three are currently true. Do I consider myself to be alive? Not really. What gets me up in the morning? Usually, the answer is my job. My source of income. Now, that job is usually okay. But I don’t feel at the […]

choices

What do you want to wear today? What to eat for breakfast? Where should we go to eat? Which of the 5 variants should you buy? Choices, everywhere, all the time. I find them exhausting. I have a very limited wardrobe. Some dark clothes. I like dark colors. And minimizing choices. Breakfast? I usually do […]

diagnosis

I have been looking for answers for several years. In the end, it was decided over about 10 hours. First there is this thought – what the fuck do I do now? I still don’t have a complete decision there, but I’m more accepting to it now. Tony Stark is Iron Man. I am autistic. […]

endings

When it comes to some things, the ending is rather defined. Movies, shows, games, books, and whatever else, has an end. The last page, last chapter, last scene, last level. Maybe it’s continued in a sequel, but that too has an end. Life can be a bit different. Maybe you sell your car, with which […]

discipline

From what I’ve gathered, this basically means to follow a system, a plan. I say plan, as I consider the system a way to achieve a goal. Began watching a show where some Norwegian people (apparently celebs, only seen two of them before) joins the army for a while. With this, being thrown into a […]

resisting

At times, I catch myself in going on endless research trips online. Shouting locations, and jobs. Earlier, I would nearly go into a kind of deadlock. What I mean by that, is that my brain starts a battle between wanting to have a solid, concrete plan, and simply not having enough information to be able […]

improving

The first step might be to ask, “why?”. This is already vague. Why do you want to improve? The missing word, is the what. The reason “why” was emphasized, is because I find it to be extremely important. The “what,” you often know already. I want to improve my body. Get in shape. Why? Primarily […]